Dan: You go into excruciating detail here, and you build up a suspense that rivals your own feels on that day. You've got it! While this is perhaps one of the oddest stories a student has ever told for this assignment, it's also one of the most successful. Even though I knew where it was going, your suspense worked for me. You seemed much more focused in this retelling, and this brought your voice (the up-speak) much more under control, too.
Dan: You go into excruciating detail here, and you build up a suspense that rivals your own feels on that day. You've got it! While this is perhaps one of the oddest stories a student has ever told for this assignment, it's also one of the most successful. Even though I knew where it was going, your suspense worked for me. You seemed much more focused in this retelling, and this brought your voice (the up-speak) much more under control, too.
ReplyDeleteRevised grade: 50/50